Facing my FEARS and PHOBIAS I never KNEW I had:-

When I was first diagnosed and before I was diagnosed, I was extremly scared of needles, injections, tablets (swallowing then and them getting stuck in my throat), any medical procedures and biopsys and ops, NJ tubes, etc. 

If I knew I had to have a needle or have to take any medication or have any procedures or ops,etc. Done I would worry about it and frett about it. I would also be very anxious every time I knew that they would be happening, as soon as I would be told all the emotions/feelings would come at me.

When I got diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia I knew that things like my fears and phobias i would be facing a hell of a lot and i had only one choice and that was to face everything chucked at me. I knew that it was not going to be easy, but i knew facing my fears and phobias is what I had to do whether i liked it or not.

11th April 2020 i will have been fighting acute myeloid leukaemia for 2 years exactly to the day !!! I am 25years old now and i can say i believe i have overcome alot if not majority of my fears and phobias. Some of my fears and phobias I am managing when I am having to face them because that is the only option I have and its also in my best intrest and if I want to get better I have got to continue how I am to continue getting over the fears and phobias that I'm managing with.

Things like my phobia/fear of needles, bone marrow biopsys, hickman line insertions, taking small sized tablets, and injections I'm now not really bothered when they are due to happen or I have to have them done there and then or that I have to take them I now down frett or worry or get top anxious. 

Regarding fears and phobias it's better when you have the correct support to get you through it all so it seems less scary and make them easier to face. I have found the only people/places who have supported me and helped me through my hard times with my fears and phobias are my family, my partner currently, a few friends, my cancer friends /family, n&n hospital ( nurses, doctors, consultants,etc) and THAT IS IT!!. Considering I go to addenbrookes hospital, I don't feel I have much/if any support from there at all, also I have had dealings with clic sargent (you get designated a clic sargent worker when you are first diagnosed) not one of them has helped me with my fears or phobias but as for everyone who has helped me with support with my fears and phobias I'm incredibly grateful of there support.

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