My fight, my battle, my journey

When I was first diagnosed and before I was diagnosed, I was extremly scared of needles, injections, tablets (swallowing then and them getting stuck in my throat), any medical procedures and biopsys and ops, NJ tubes, etc.  If I knew I had to have a needle or have to take any medication or have any procedures or ops,etc. Done I would worry about it and frett about it. I would also be very anxious every time I knew that they would be happening, as soon as I would be told all the emotions/feelings would come at me. When I got diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia I knew that things like my fears and phobias i would be facing a hell of a lot and i had only one choice and that was to face everything chucked at me. I knew that it was not going to be easy, but i knew facing my fears and phobias is what I had to do whether i liked it or not. 11th April 2020 i will have been fighting acute myeloid leukaemia for 2 years exactly to the day !!! I am 25years old now and i can say i believe i have

When you are poorly of any description or you have a conversation or if you think someone is feeling down etc. One of the first things people say to you or ask you is HOW ARE YOU???...... The answer for this can be easy if you are having a good day, but when you are having anything other than a good day the answer can be far from easy!! When the answer is mostly like yes I'm kinda ok, or I'm ok thanks to I'm doing well as I can be are sometimes the most easy and simple answers I can give and truly being honest I might not know how I truly feel or I cannot explain what I am feeling as there are no words for the emotions I have and am thinking about, the best way I can explain how I feel majority of the time is NUMB!!!.  When you feel NUMB it doesn't mean that there is no emotions/feelings inside you it's a feeling that what you feel you just can't get out. When you are a cancer fighter or you have had cancer they are the people that understand how other cancer f