Feeling when you can't sleep!!

Its 04:52am on the 9/2/2020, outside is extremely windy and you can here the wind blowing everything around. I'm laying here with pains in my legs (think that is what has truly woke me up in the first place), so I thought right I'll go got a wee and then once i get back into bed I'll try and go back to sleep. So i went for my wee and then went back to bed, wind was making so much noise/howling i didn't like it I just laid here and laid here, things and feelings keeps wandering around my head, I'm trying to switch off but the things I'm thinking about are so strong it like i cannot switch off how I'm feeling and my mind is working overtime. All my worries about what treatment I am facing next to worrying about what damage the wind is doing outside as well as being in extreme pain in my legs and feet I could honestly cry but my body won't let me cry no more.

Months ago/years ago I used to sleep so deeply and I would go through the night getting no pains and no worried thoughts etc. It used to be once I was asleep I was asleep and even if you set a bomb off at the end of my bed it wouldn't wake me and I would only wake up if I felt I needed too, I would feel I couldn't survive on less than 8 hours sleep but now look at me waking up in the night, laying there in the darkness trying to turn my thoughts off and my pain off to go back to sleep, and definitely not managing 8 hours deep sleep. I'll be luckly if I have 3-7 hours sleep now but none of it is deep sleep apart from possibly a couple of minutes.



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