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Showing posts from February, 2020

CANCER ISN'T EASY!!!! - saturday 29th February 2020

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When you have cancer alot of your days are hard! There are days where you feel like you can do everything and there are days where you feel and can't do anything. Today is Saturday 29th February 2020, and today I'm having one of those not able to do anything days. Every saturday we go to my nan's to see her and my aunties and uncles and little cousins. More times than not on previous weekends I've been able to mess around with my little cousin and more importantly do alot for myself. Today I am having an extremly bad day. This morning I woke up at 0830am and I had to have help getting dressed from my mum. I descided today as I feel awful I'm going to wear clean Pjs and fluffy socks on my feet and then I will be as comfortable as I can be. Because my body is really swollen due to fluid retention and it's also really uncomfortable I've had to borrow and wear my dads spare pair of shoes due to the fact I cannot fit my feet in my own shoes as my feet have swall...

Feeling when you can't sleep!!

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Its 04:52am on the 9/2/2020, outside is extremely windy and you can here the wind blowing everything around. I'm laying here with pains in my legs (think that is what has truly woke me up in the first place), so I thought right I'll go got a wee and then once i get back into bed I'll try and go back to sleep. So i went for my wee and then went back to bed, wind was making so much noise/howling i didn't like it I just laid here and laid here, things and feelings keeps wandering around my head, I'm trying to switch off but the things I'm thinking about are so strong it like i cannot switch off how I'm feeling and my mind is working overtime. All my worries about what treatment I am facing next to worrying about what damage the wind is doing outside as well as being in extreme pain in my legs and feet I could honestly cry but my body won't let me cry no more. Months ago/years ago I used to sleep so deeply and I would go through the night getting no pains ...